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Advice Crush: Dear Boogie

February 9, 2011
Disclaimer: the advice provided by Brendan Boogie does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Boston Band Crush management. He’s going to drink Bacardi like it’s his birthday. You’ll find him in the club. He’s into having sex, he’s not into making love.

Dear Boogie,
I wrote a song for this girl I barely know. Let’s call her an acquaintance. The song is about how great I think she is and how I want to be with her although I barely know her (original, right?). Anyway, I’ve been sitting on it for over a year now, and I keep wanting to send it to her and say “Hey, this song is about you.” But there’s one problem: I already have a girlfriend of 4 years that I’m really in love with, maybe even the girl I’d like to marry.
If I send it to acquaintance girl, wouldn’t this be cheating via songwriting on marry girl? I have this strong urge to get this song off my chest and show acquaintance girl to see how she’ll react. Do I show her the song or do I keep it to myself forever?
Honorary Member of Songwriting Cheaters Anonymous Club


Nice. A tale of intrigue, hidden desire, and oodles of self-destructive stupidity. An absolutely sublime choice to ring in the one-year anniversary of Dear Boogie.

First off, Happy Birthday to me!

Dogs in party hats. I never get sick of that shit.

Okay, on to business. HMOSCAC, I have one simple question for your hopeless ass: What do you hope to gain by revealing to Acquaintance Girl that she is, in fact, secretly your muse? A moment of transcendent artistic oneness? A movie romance “Oh my god the perfect guy was right in front of me all along!” moment? A convenient escape from your oh-so-happy-but-secretly-stale relationship? Some mystery? Some excitement? A quick bit of how’s-your-father-in-the-water-closet on the side?

None of those things are going to happen. She’s probably just going to be a creeped out that some dude she barely knows wrote a song about her.

She’d be wrong, of course. There’s nothing creepy about writing a song about someone you hardly know. The creative process is a strange and unpredictable thing. If you’re truly open to it, a meaningful song can come from the most meaningless inspiration. True story: Elvis Costello wrote “I Want You” after his local supermarket was out of his favorite frozen breakfast burrito. Seriously. I know it seems like a song about profound loss, ambivalence, and regret, right? Nope. Lack of burrito. My point is that great depth can initiate from something quite shallow. The source material doesn’t make the song any more trite or (and this is important for you to remember) the inspiration any more significant. Great song or not, it’s still just a frozen burrito.

And for once in my cotton-pickin’ life, I’m not going to fall into the cliche of psychoanalyzing you to death. Some may naturally assume that your desire to tell Acquaintance Girl about the song means that you’re not happy in your relationship. This is not necessarily true. You’ve been with your girl for four years. Four years! That’s the Carter administration. You’d be crazy to not constantly think about fucking other people. But your song about Acquaintance Girl was akin to having a really hot dream about the girl behind the Marylou’s counter. Don’t confuse it with any sort of reality. Keep that shit to yourself. The truth is that the fantasy is always more exciting, so you should keep it that way.

As a special bonus for being my one-year-anniversary letter (and because you conveniently sent me an anonymous email instead of using the handy dandy submission form below), I’m going to send you a sneak preview song of the song “I Hate New York” (a song actually written about your girlfriend) recorded for my March EP release a good three weeks before it is released. Free stuff abounds at Dear Boogie! Come to my show at the Rosebud on Saturday! Hooray for life and for me!

Soundtrack to your misery: The Organ Beats “Happy Birthday/Come On Home”
Happy birthday Dear Boogie! -Eds.

Seriously. You should go to Brendan’s EP release show at the Rosebud on Saturday. In the meantime, send an email to or fill in the anonymous submission form below:

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