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Advice Crush: Dear Boogie

March 24, 2011
Disclaimer: The advice provided by Brendan Boogie does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Boston Band Crush management. He knows you ordered the code red.

Dear Boogie,

What can we do to get people to stop talking about South By Southwest? It’s like those kids in college who studied abroad and won’t shut up about it for the first semester of senior year.

Boston to Boston

Dear BTB,

Okay, I got this letter last week during the SxSW takeover of the internets so it’s a little dated, but I thought I’d print it anyway. Sorry my once-a-week column can’t keep up with the modern times with you hep youngsters.

But yes – other people’s fun is the worst, isn’t it? I hate when people are playing awesome gigs, getting media attention, having success, etc. I especially hate when those people are not me.

BTB, it sucks when there’s a party and you’re not invited. But you can’t blame the kids for being excited about the cool things that are going on for them just because they’re not happening for you anymore (or maybe never did). So stop being such a cranky pants and try like hell to be happy for someone else’s success, even if you have to fake it. It’s a much better look than what you’ve got going on now.

Look, we all get jealous. I know I do. Just own it. I think my bands are awesome. Otherwise, why would I get onstage in the first place? To do something shitty? When other bands that aren’t as awesome as mine (and how could they be? I’m not in them) get “ahead” of me – whatever the fuck that means – I don’t like it one bit. But now I’m old and decrepit enough to realize – it doesn’t have anything to do with the “worthiness” of the other bands. Like most things, it’s all about me me me.

In the interest of full disclosure, here are a list of other people and things of which I am jealous:

– John Powhida (for obvious reasons)

– Any Batman except the Christian Bale one. He seems a little dour for a kick-ass crimefighting billionaire.

– Jimmy Buffet. Writes terrible music, writes terrible books, people go nuts. Then, he takes his millions and hangs out in his boat. What a gloriously lucky asshole.

– Anyone who gets to guest referee anything at WrestleMania

– Charlie Sheen (not for his recent outbursts but for his tour de force performance with Jon Lovitz in the masterful comedy Good Advice)

– All of my former girlfriends, bandmates, and cellmates. What a sweet relief my absence in their lives must be.

So no, BTB – there is no way to shut people up about SxSW or anything else they are excited about. And you should stop trying. Take that same energy you would be spending on other bands and spend it on getting people excited about what YOU are doing.

Soundtrack for your misery: Spirit Kid “The World Doesn’t Stop”

You want him on that wall. You need him on that wall. Write to Brendan at dearboogie@bostonbandcrush.org or fill in the honorable anonymous submission form below:

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